Well that’s different….

My blog has suddenly become a report of my 30 day scripture reading challenge. But I will get back to other things soon enough. I just have to do one more post because of what happened last night during my reading.

The first few nights of reading I started getting answers and direction of where to turn next pretty much within the first minute or so that I started reading. And there seemed to be a good flow as I read.

Last night was the complete opposite.

I really struggled to know where to read. I had prayed and asked my question, and I asked to have the spirit direct my reading, but then it almost felt like radio silence.

Hello… anyone there?

After a while of not feeling like I was turning to the right spot and not getting anything out of what I was reading I wondered if maybe I had asked the wrong question. I had felt like it was a sincere question and that I could really use an answer to it, but when I wasn’t feeling anything I started to doubt. I even said a quick second prayer asking for more (any) direction and I even asked if I had asked the wrong question. But then I thought back to the challenge. The challenge said to “tell Him the one question you most need to have answered that day”. And I felt like the question I had asked fit that description. So I pressed on. I kept trying to get and feel something – anything. I was prompted to read my Patriarchal Blessing, which provided a bit of what I felt was an answer. And after that I got a little bit more. But definitely not what I had received the first few days of the challenge.

As I sat there wondering what had changed from the other nights I couldn’t pinpoint anything. But I did have one thought. Maybe part of my answer was the struggle. Almost like it was a test to see if I would keep going, keep trying, keep trusting. And to be honest, that’s the most fitting answer to the question I had asked.

Be patient. Keep moving forward. Keep trusting. Don’t give up. And don’t lose faith.